The Art of Giving Constructive Feedback: A Practical Guide

We've all been there - that moment when your manager pulls you aside and says, "I have some feedback for you." My heart would start racing! Sometimes, providing critical feedback to someone can be even more challenging. You know you should provide this feedback, but you're tempted to brush it off.

In this blog post, we'll explore why feedback is important and how to effectively give constructive feedback. I'll provide a template to structure your feedback, along with examples, so you can practice beforehand.

Why is Feedback Important?

Constructive feedback is designed to provide specific, actionable suggestions that help individuals or teams improve their performance.

When done well, feedback can lead to personal growth, valuable insights, stronger relationships, and higher quality results. However, when handled poorly, it can cause defensiveness, resentment, and rifts in relationships. Research has shown that feedback can be perceived as being as hurtful as physical pain, which may explain why we're often resistant to it.

I remember the first time I received critical feedback - it was jarring, and I left the room on the verge of tears. Over time, though, I came to see feedback as a gift. I hope you'll come to view it the same way if you don't already.

Note: This guide doesn't cover severe situations involving violations of your company's code of conduct. In such cases, please reach out to your HR department for support.

Considerations Before Providing Feedback

Set the Stage

Ask for permission: "Hey [name], I have some feedback for you on the last project. Would you mind if we take some time to discuss it further? When would be a good time to chat?"

This approach gives the other person a heads-up and time to prepare mentally.

Consider the Context - the time, location, and medium matter!

• Time: Don't bombard someone as soon as they arrive at work or are about to head home.

• Location: Choose an appropriate setting - office, meeting room, or even a walk or coffee shop.

• Medium: Avoid giving feedback via text or email. It's the equivalent of breaking up with someone over text - not cool!

Be Timely

Share feedback within a day or two of the situation, or at most within a week. This ensures the event is still fresh in everyone's mind.

Share Your Intent

This is especially important when there's no pre-existing relationship or negative history. But it's helpful in all situations.

Focus on their Behavior

Never make it about the person’s personal attributes. Focus on their behavior.

The Feedback Framework

When delivering feedback, it's crucial to understand the dynamics at play. Imagine a diagram with you on one side, the other person on the opposite side, and a shared pool of knowledge in the middle.

Template for Structuring Your Feedback

Use this template to frame your feedback effectively:

"I noticed [add your observation]. It made [add your impact here]. Can you please [add your suggestion] going forward?"

Focus on your perspective, not someone else's.

For example: "I noticed that you were late on your previous two projects. The impact was that QA didn't have sufficient time to test your feature. Going forward, please notify me ahead of time as soon as you feel you may be late so that I can reallocate the work assigned to you or get you some support."

In this example, I shared my observation, the impact, and provided a suggestion.

To make the feedback more collaborative, try adding space (or gaps in the conversation) for the other person to contribute to the shared pool of knowledge:

"I noticed that you were late on two of your previous projects. The impact was that QA didn't have sufficient time to test their feature. What are your thoughts here? What do you think may have led to this situation?"

Encourage dialogue and create space for the other person to ask questions, share their perspective, and collaborate.

For instance, they might respond:

"Actually, my dog's not doing well. He's been in and out of the hospital, and it's really impacted my mental well-being and productivity."

With this new information, you can adjust your response:

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Do you need to take some time off to take care of him? In the future, please let me know sooner so I can better support you and ensure that the project doesn't get delayed."

By creating space for dialogue, we increase understanding and empathy, potentially introduce new information, and deepen relationships.

However, it's important to note that the impact of the situation doesn't change - in this case, the person was still late, and you need to be assertive in delivering feedback to prevent future occurrences.

Remember, strong relationships can make feedback easier to give and receive. But they take time to build and nurture. A pre-existing positive relationship with sufficient trust may be necessary for some folks, while others may be very open to feedback. Take the time to get to know your team and peers!

Providing effective feedback is a skill that improves with practice. By following these guidelines and maintaining a mindset of growth and support, you can turn potentially difficult conversations into opportunities for development and stronger professional relationships.

Wishing you the best! You got this!

There's also a net in front of each of you, because there's only so much we can see in the common knowledge and into the other person.

Both parties have their own perceptions and observations, colored by intentions, past experiences, knowledge, biases, and assumptions.

The goal is to bring as much information as possible into that shared pool of knowledge. When this common understanding is rich, the conversation becomes more productive, and the resulting change can be more impactful.